Off grid old man douche.

About two months ago up in Bonners Ferry Idaho an I live off the fucking grid old man douche bag decided hey I do not like my Subaru outback anymore so I will wait for the next train to show park the car on the tracks get out and bing I get a new car.  Well the first part of the plan worked since the train hit the car and totally fucked it up.  It gets better when the cop shows up and gives the bat shit crazy old fucker a couple of tickets for no insurance and no registration.  There goes the idea of getting the insurance company to replace his car, but then again you have to have a functioning brain to have an idea.  Then the railroad decided hey we smell pussy so they jabbed a hard throbbing dick up old man douche ass by sending him a bill for the inconvenience and probably damage to the locomotive.  well the douche bag did get a new car, but it came out of his own pocket maybe he had to suck a lot of dick for a down payment.  Just remember if you think the railroad will buy you a new car for hitting your car when it was your fault then wouldn't every crossing be jam packed with the latest GM pos.

Small town douche

Well it happened again another power dildo behind the wheel of an 18 wheeler did not remember the length of his own rig.  So this douche bag crosses the crossing at the mill at Moyie which is north of Bonners Ferry and then stops thinking the truck is in the clear.  What brought this Cledus out of his deep thoughts of violating his drunk cousin at the local tavern later that evening was when a freight train took out his trailer.  So now he not only inconvenienced himself and the railroad he also inconvenienced the small hick town of Moyie when the train stopped and literally cut the town in half for at least three hours.  I wonder how many of the local mill workers were scratching their heads trying to figure out why their wifes cars were stuck on the other side of the tracks where the night shift workers live.

Tag your it

In the douche bag Capitol of north Idaho a Jane douche mis calculated the length of her car when she decided to stop on the crossing hell bent on making that left turn.  What this country douche failed to notice was the lights and bells and gates that protect the crossing were on and if she had looked to her left douche bag would have noticed the big ass train coming at her.  It was going to happen sooner or later in gooberville I mean douchebagville I mean Sandpoint.  For you see many of the inhabitants of this place are rude, angry hillbilly douche bags who are not afraid to let that middle finger fly.  Hey bubba do you use that same finger on your cousin.  Here is my take on this accident.  Jane douche was in a hurry since after she was done giving head in the local Wal Mart parking lot she realized that she was running late and had to get back to her trailer to cook dinner for Mr. Douche bag who spent a hard day drinking beer standing watch over the mailbox waiting for the government cheese to show up.  If she didn't have that tater tot casserole ready their would be a beating.  So with the fear of having a switch taken to her she by passed all the safety features at the crossing and was clipped by the train.  Her last words before the cops showed up were said to have been "insurance please help me not get my ass beat by my abusive husband now."

Friday night Douche Bags

Tis the season and tis is also Friday so everyone was out and about and in a hurry to go home or to the bar to meet the future ex.  John and Jane douches were out in force all in a race to beat the steel beast coming at them, eventually someone will loose this game.  There were soo many douches out there tonight I can not possibly write about them all so I will give a top ten reason why these idiots are gunning for the Darwin award trophy.  Here we go, top ten reasons why douche bags run crossings:

10.  Diarrhea cha, cha, cha
09.  Mom needs meth
08.  Running from a drug deal that went bad
07.  Got a call that your hot cousin is drunk off her ass
06.  Wal Mart has a sale on tires that will fit your house
05.  Want to take your self out of the gene pool so mankind can leap ahead
04.  Shake and bake
03.  Nothin' can hurt me cause I'm made of steel, buuurrp!
02.  To busy text messaging world leaders for world peace to notice the train
01.  I need to get home to my wife cause I heard there is a line of sailors at the front door of the house again

Smart Douche

At 10:22 this morning the 04 of February A Soul patch Mcdouche in a black queery smart car decided that they needed to play chicken with a steel monster that travels at 50mph at the highway 41 crossing on the prairie. If this person was killed would they be missed. The only person who would miss this douche bag would be the salesman who sold them that fruity ass car since he would be loosing a repetitive customer. What would this persons funeral be like I wonder, I guess it would be crammed full of gay dudes who drive similar vehicles and all whine like little girls when they hit a pothole. Is the stick shift the shape of a giant black dildo?

That a 10-4 good Douche.

The first John Douche is out of all people a supposedly certified truck driver. 20 Jan 2012 about 10:00 in the morning just a little north of the Chilco Rd. crossing I think it was the Old hwy 95 crossing. Well this Douche bag decided in bad weather (there was about a foot of snow on the ground and it was slick) that hey I need to get these logs to the mill or I will not get my money so I can take my cousin out to the tavern tonight and get get her plowed so I can do some plowing. So we are five hundred feet from this JD and he decides to cross. Please miss a gear so you can spend the rest of your short ass life in agonizing pain and you can also look out the window of your trailer that you live in and see the crumpled twisted burnt out wreck of your rig sitting on the patch of turf you pass off for a front yard. It was a older red truck either a Peterbilt or Ken worth non self loader pulling a pup type trailer with a Darwin award candidate behind the wheel jammin' those gears.

Number two is either a Jane or John Douche (the windows were tinted). This amoeba decided that they needed to get home fast to watch some more reality TV. So at the Idaho Rd. Crossing in Post Falls on January 21, 2012 around 15:10 a silver / gold four door Honda Civic decided to run the crossing with us less than four hundred feet from them and the roads were slick to add. Actually the car did not decide to run the crossing it was the Douche behind the wheel or maybe it was some tool sitting in the back seat telling the douche to run the crossing. Please for gods sake do not and repeat do not BREED! This town does not need a bunch of kids walking in circles and running into walls and shit like that. One of these days luck will run out and natural selection will prevail.

05 January, 2012 2200 hrs

So either a John or Jane Douche decided not to pay attention last night at the crossing at Spokane st. in Post Falls. You see I guess it is really hard to tell if a train is coming considering it is making all sorts of noise and shit like that, oh wait the douche bag behind the wheel just turns up their stereo instead. I give them the benefit of the doubt maybe they didn't know the tracks were there, but that can't be it since there are signs posted the two steel rails kinda are a clue too. Also the tracks have been there since around the 1920's so it wasn't a recent addition type thing going on here. Douche bags do not realize that if their blue POS ricer gets hit then it will be pretty much a closed casket or should I say closed coffee can since all the remains could fit in it. I thinks this douche should've rolled out into the crossing so the other drivers could witness him evaporate in the wreckage and understand the basic rules of drivers education.

My hat is off to you John or Jane Douche in the two door blue POS ricer mobile heading north on Spokane street in Post Falls last night, the dumb asses in this city need martyrs like you to set the example and also you are doing justice by taking yourself out so you can no longer taint the earth by your ability to breed.